September 2011
Living in San Francisco
I never leave my house without my cell phone, keys, wallet, pepper spray and a big knife.
3 tags
2 tags
2 tags
Soft packer FAIL
My soft packer got loose from my jockeys today and started sliding down my pant leg while I was out in public. For a minute there, it looked like I had a penis growing out of my thigh. FAIL
August 2011
7 tags
3 tags
That awkward moment when Katy Perry and Nicki...
degenerateblackjesus:
3 tags
Just had my 1st testosterone shot!
I’m so excited! I just had my first testosterone shot this morning. My girlfriend went with me to learn how to give injections, just in case I need help. Intramuscular shots are a bitch!
Today’s my Trans birthday! Yay!
3 tags
This morning's biopsy
The biopsy went well. They removed 5 polyps, including one that was inflamed, bleeding and about to rupture. The Dr said it was a good thing they found it early. Had it erupted, I would be seriously ill and require further surgery and hospitalization.
Now they have to test the polyps to see if they are cancerous. The larger they are, the greater chance it’s cancerous. One of the ones that...
4 tags
3 tags
Soft packer
I decided to change it up a little and put on my other soft packer. It still has that “new penis” smell.
2 tags
3 tags
2 tags
“The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
– Flannery O’Connor (via rosenplantzandguildenfern)
4 tags
Thank God for drugs
I don’t care what anyone says, psych meds have saved my life on more than one occasion. For the past several days, I’ve been having suicidal ideations but I reached out to people and got some good support. I also took my meds and I’m feeling a bit better now.
Earlier today I was in a lot of emotional distress. I felt like I was losing my mind. I couldn’t stop fantasizing...
2 tags
Depression, part 3
Feeling really depressed again today. I wonder if I’m losing my mind? God, I just want to be happy. I don’t know what to do. I feel stuck. I’m just trying to hang on.
4 tags
Depression, part 2
I’m very depressed and having suicidal ideations. I don’t really want to die, I just want the pain I feel to stop. It’s hard enough going through this gender transition but I know this will also break my family’s heart. My mother & father and my brothers are going to be so upset with me. I’m afraid that I’ll be responsible for tearing my family apart....
2 tags
Depression
I’m feeling very depressed today. More than usual. Thinking about calling my Dr.
5 tags
1044) My transition is not tearing my family...
3 tags
2 tags
3 tags
@vodkagelatine: Re: Biopsy
@vodkagelatine: I couldn't figure out how to send you a private message so I thought I'd post a response on my page.
Thanks so much for your kindness. I appreciate it very much.
5 tags
7 tags
How to Be a Friend to Trans Folks Without Putting... →
kristt:
kiriamaya:
This goes out to all the cis people who, it’s quite obvious, want to help and befriend trans people, but who keep alienating and angering us instead. I’ve seen the befuddled looks on your faces when this happens, and I thought I’d try to clear a few things up for you. Let’s look at some common scenarios in which well-meaning cis people screw up with the whole pro-trans thing,...
4 tags
When Non Native Participation in Powwows Goes...
landrum:
Click this
http://www.racialicious.com/2010/05/12/when-non-native-participation-in-powwows-goes-terribly-wrong/
read, flume, then reblog.
This is what is going on, I hope someday it will end.
I also hope I never see it in person.
This has got to stop. Not to mention the comments people are making at the bottom. Sick
6 tags
My First Testosterone Shot Has Been Scheduled!!
Wow, I had a rather intense day at the Dr’s office.
The night before my appointment, I had to go on a fast so they could do labs and blood work on me. No food or drink after 6:00pm and nothing on the morning of the appointment. I woke up feeling tired and sluggish from the lack of food or coffee.
I got to Dr. Smilo’s office by 10:40 am for my 11:00 appointment. I filled...
2 tags
“”I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but...”
6 tags
2 tags
7 tags
6 tags
6 tags
2 tags
2 tags
Biopsy
Really not feeling well in the area of my body suspected of being cancerous. I hope it’s psychosomatic.
I’m tired but I can’t sleep. My stomach feels bloated and uncomfortable, with a slight burning sensation. I’m depressed and concerned about the possibility that I might have cancer. I’m trying not to worry about it until after I have my surgical procedure but...
2 tags
Positive cancer test
Damn it. I got a potential positive result for cancer and now I have to have a more invasive procedure. I think it’s probably either a false positive or there’s some other reason the test came back positive. Now they have to sedate me and cut on me. Shit. Not what I wanted to hear.
3 tags
RIP Jani Lane
Feeling incredibly sad over the passing of Jani Lane. He was one of my musical heroes. I can only imagine how sad you must’ve felt in those last moments of your life. I wish you could’ve healed yourself of the addictions that plagued you. Much love to you, Jani. Your fan forever, Vince.
9 tags
Former Warrant singer, Jani Lane, dead at 47 →
Jani Lane — former lead singer of the rock band Warrant — was found dead at a hotel in L.A. Thursday evening. Lane’s body was discovered at the Comfort Inn hotel in Woodland Hills, CA. So far, no official cause of death has been released.
6 tags
Well intentioned friends
I’m feeling sad and dismayed that people are questioning or “joking” about my decision to transition from F to M. I understand that some of my friends want to have a conversation and see if they can understand what turned my heart to want to live my life as a man.I don’t mind having that conversation. I feel that I have been growing more and more masculinely...
2 tags
4 tags
Still trying to find an Endocrinologist
Last month I told my primary physician that I was interested in testosterone therapy and she referred me to a young, Chinese-American man named Dr. Tuan. She said that he was very good and could both test me and provide me with testosterone shots.
I had an appointment with him yesterday morning but when I got there, I was told that my appointment was actually for the 3rd of August, not...
1 tag
