For those who have not read it yet, this is the letter regarding the refusal to raise the trans pride flag sent by the MUMC. It is a matter of public record btw. They say it’s a physical safety issue. I personally don’t by it. You ne the judge.

Ms. Veronika Fimbres,

Thank you again for contacting MUMC with a request regarding the Rainbow Flag maintained by MUMC at Harvey Milk Plaza, Castro at Market Streets in San Francisco. Our previous email correspondence is copied below.
The MUMC Board has thoroughly reviewed, discussed and considered the request, and we appreciate your patience while that was done.

The request is not approved and there will be no change in the Rainbow Flag display on November 20.

We again urge you to review MUMC’s publicly-posted Rainbow Flag policy on MUMC’s website – the direct link is http://castromerchants.com/castro-merchants-flag-po… We especially call your attention to the Policy’s 4th and 5th paragraphs. They strictly limit replacement or modified displays of the Rainbow Flag. The display you request does not fall within the established policy.

We also have recently reviewed the Rainbow Flag policy regarding flag display at lowered or half-mast. We have determined that to do so would jeopardize public safety for pedestrians and passing vehicles, due in part to nearby overhead electric and other utility and transit service wires and to other conditions at the site. We are preparing and soon will publish at the website page, a clarification of MUMC’s published Rainbow Flag policy on this issue.

Nothing in this response to your request should be interpreted as any disrespect for the Transgender Flag, the November 20 Transgender Day of Remembrance, or similar issues. We hope that consistently administering MUMC’s Rainbow Flag policy, in fact, re-enforces the strength, pride and unity of all parts of our community.
MUMC’s Rainbow Flag policy and this decision in no way prevent any group from gathering at Harvey Milk Plaza (subject to City and County of San Francisco and any other applicable rules and regulations) for commemorations and other purposes.

Please also note that we have allowed you to attend the past two monthly MUMC Member Meetings (September 6 and October 4), although you did not make advance arrangements to do so, and your attending did not conform with our policies.
MUMC is a private business and merchants organization. MUMC Meetings are private and open only to current Members and other pre-arranged guests. Our policy regarding Meeting attendance always is published with each monthly Meeting Agenda on the home page of MUMC’s website at www.CastroMerchants.com.
Please note also that issues regarding the Rainbow Flag generally are handled by MUMC’s Board, not at Member Meetings.
We respectfully ask that you do not attend future private MUMC Meetings (unless requested and mutually agreed in advance), and that you and colleagues follow and respect our attendance policy published with Agendas.

We wish you and your colleagues the very best for the Transgender Day of Remembrance, and thank you for understanding, respecting and supporting MUMC’s Rainbow Flag and other policies.

Terry Asten Bennett, President
Merchants of Upper Market & Castro – MUMC
584 Castro Street #333; San Francisco CA 94114-2512
MUMC-SF@earthlink.net
www.CastroMerchahts.com

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Boycott Cliff’s Variety and other Castro Street Merchants until they right this wrong and fly the Transgender flag on 20 November for the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Transgender men & women and gender variant people have fought alongside, the gay community for equal civil rights since the Stonewall Riots. Many of us Transgender people were or are gay and had our beginnings in the gay community. Why doesn’t the Gay community support the Transgender community? Our blood is more likely to be spilled in anti-LGBT violence than “straight looking” and “straight acting” homosexuals. I’m sick to death of Gay men lumping all FtM MEN in with the lesbians and not treating us like real men. Just because I wasn’t born with a huge cock doesn’t make me less of a man. And just because a transexual woman has a penis, she is not less than any other woman.

BOYCOTT CASTRO STREET MERCHANTS & CLIFF’S VARIETY NOW! HIT ‘EM WHERE IT HURTS. IF THEY WON’T FLY THE FLAG IN SOLIDARITY WITH THE TRANS COMMUNITY, THEN THEY DAMN WELL DON’T DESERVE OUR MONEY! FLY THE TRANSGENDER FLAG ON 20 NOV 2012!!

I’m greatly distressed about not having the financial ability to pay for my own gender reassignment surgery. The policy of my insurance company is that gender reassignment surgery is cosmetic only, which is absurd and flies in the face of established medical protocol for treating gender identity disorder. I can’t seem to convince them of the extent of torment I feel about being in the wrong gendered body.

I feel that it’s an urgent matter that should require expedient treatment because I feel so psychologically distressed by being in a female body. I can’t stand to look at my own body in the mirror. I want to jump out of my own skin. I hate having breasts so much because they betray my true gender identity. I feel disconnected from my own body and that makes it hard to desire intimacy or take care of health because I hate dealing with and being confronted with having a female body.

I’m not sure how long I can wait to have chest reconstruction surgery. It’s hard to explain how I feel. I feel afraid and desperate. I have had thoughts of cutting off or mutilating my own breasts in an attempt to finally get rid of them. Of course, I know this isn’t rational or safe and I’m aware that I could die by making such an attempt. But in the back of my mind, I’m constantly and desperately trying to figure out a way to have my breasts removed so I can finally look and feel like a real man. I don’t think I’d ever actually mutilate myself but feel discomforted that I’m not certain that I’d never be driven to take such drastic actions.

Yesterday, I read a blog article written by an acquaintance who also happens to be gender non-conforming. His partner is also gender variant. While walking in the Tenderloin, she encountered a group of about 3-4 men who made trans-phobic comments and threats when they saw her. One of the men pulled out a gun and said, “Let’s kill this tranny.” She ran and fortunately, they didn’t give chase. She was very lucky that she managed to escape with her life.

Although this incident didn’t happen to me personally, I feel very distressed by it and it’s been upsetting to me since I read about it. I feel very triggered and don’t feel personally safe to walk outside. I’m very afraid and feel a heightened sense of anxiety about my perceived gender. I’m extremely afraid that something like this will inevitably happen to me and cause me great physical injury, emotional trauma or death. No one can tell me this is an irrational fear because it’s not irrational at all. It’s extremely feasible and even highly probable. I guess the long and short of it is that I feel that I’m facing a serious decision. I can choose to harm myself in a controlled manner in an attempt to minimize my chance of death by removing my own breasts and be seen accurately and congruously as a man, or face the chance that I will be beaten, maimed or murdered and have no ability to control the injuries I could incur from a person or persons that hate transgender people and are attempting to harm or murder me because of it.  

I feel sick emotionally and physically. I’m considering checking myself into the hospital because I feel so distressed. I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid to actually go through with it because I can’t bear to admit that I don’t feel in control of my emotions or sense of personal safety. I feel weak and vulnerable and unsafe and afraid. I’m distressed by the thought that there are so many people out in the world who hate me or think I’m an abomination and think I should be killed or punished. 

I’ve made up my mind to take tomorrow off as a personal day from work. I’ll talk to Sarah when she comes home and hopefully be able to make a decision about what to do. I feel embarrassed about having to tell my employers that I’m in psychiatric distress and may need extended time out of the office to take care of my health. I’m distressed about having even less money to live off of if I take medical time off from work but I have to keep my priorities straight and do whatever I can to help myself because I have the ability to do so at this time.

I hate this. Even if I go to the hospital to treat my emotional health, it won’t take care of my need to have gender reassignment surgery. I don’t know what to do. I feel very distressed and desperate. It’s not fair that I have to wait and risk my emotional health and my life by looking like and being a man with breasts. I can only hope and pray that I won’t be at the wrong place at the wrong time and encounter that one person or group of people who decide that I have to die.

A drunk guy tried to start a fight with me on MUNI yesterday. He called me a “faggot” instead of “dyke”, which means he perceived me correctly, as a man. He didn’t know it but his insult was actually very validating. He kinda even made my day!